Evolving Into HER | Mindset, Identity, and Confidence Coaching for Women Becoming HER

026: Why You Keep Attracting What You DON'T Want in Love: How Fear Can Disguise Itself as Standards

Episode 26

This week we’re getting real about the way fear shapes how we move in love.
You ever notice how so much dating advice online sounds like it’s teaching women how not to get played?

How to spot red flags, how to test people, how to “protect your peace” at all costs?

It sounds empowering, but when your energy stays focused on avoiding pain, you end up calling in more of the same.

In this episode, Ashlee breaks down the psychology behind fear-based dating and how it can show up as “standards” that are really just defense. You’ll hear how your nervous system gets trained to expect certain patterns, and what happens when you start leading with what you actually want instead.

This conversation will help you:

  • Notice how fear influences your dating habits
  • Understand how focus shapes attraction
  • Shift from protection to presence
  • Relearn how to trust yourself in love

If you’ve ever found yourself saying “I’m not about to get played again,” this episode is for you.

Grab your journal, get comfy, and let’s talk about the difference between being wise and being guarded.

If this episode spoke to you, share it with a friend and leave a 5-star review to help this work reach more women. Your support means everything!

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